Existential depression: a gift in disguise

I’m writing this post to set my intention to reach out to and support the millions of young people in their teens and early twenties who are struggling with the same inner state of dis-ease as me: existential depression.

There is nothing inherently “wrong” with these kids (or me, for that matter). They do not need doctors, anti-depressants or psychiatric intervention. What they need is someone to acknowledge and validate their feelings. Their depression is a direct response to the conditioned insanity that surrounds them in their everyday lives – in school, in politics, in the media, in corporations, in the business world, in big pharma, in the legal system, in advertising and marketing, in pretty much every aspect of their lives; insanity that they feel powerless to do anything about, thus contributing to a growing sense of meaninglessness and despair. It is no surprise to me that more and more kids are losing themselves in addictions to social media, video games, alcohol, drugs, sex, self-harming, gang culture and violence – and at increasingly younger ages. These are coping mechanisms; methods of distraction; symptoms of a dysfunctional society that is in a state of chronic denial.

Existential depression is the proverbial elephant in the room that nobody wants to acknowledge, let alone talk about. Why? Because it’s easier to keep our heads buried in the sand and pretend that everything is all right. Because to acknowledge the issue would be to question the very basis upon which our lives revolve; to question the premises upon which our “civilised” society has been built. No, this is perceived as too threatening. Far easier to silence, suppress and shame those who are struggling to make sense of the madness that surrounds them. This way, we can remain in our comfort zones of unconscious slumber and conditioned insanity.

“If you feel like you don’t fit in the world, it’s because you are here to help create a new one.” ~ Unknown

I believe that these existentially depressed young people hold within their hearts and souls the blueprints for a new and better way of living and being. I believe these kids themselves are the keys to the creation of a new society, a new civilisation. I believe that their inability to happily function within the existing societal systems and structures is a blessed gift to humanity. I believe that we can activate these templates for a healthy and harmonious world by providing spaces of unconditional acceptance and compassion in which kids are granted permission to openly and honestly voice their feelings.

As a life coach (www.silentlifecoach.com), I specialise in supporting children and adults who are struggling with existential depression. If you resonate with the words in this post, please know that you are not alone. You are never alone. Know, too, that your uniqueness is your greatest gift to the world. I am here to support and assist you in aligning with your truth, with your highest path and purpose.

All my love,
David

Advertisements

A rose amongst thorns

Yesterday I had an extraordinary coaching session with an extraordinary teenage girl. This young lady’s ability to interpret and articulate the relationship dynamics of the people around her, along with their underlying intentions, is unparalleled. She is, in many respects, a Master at the Art of Relationship.

Yet again, I’m sorry to say that this teenager’s genius is not recognised by the school system. On the contrary, she is made to feel like a failure on a daily basis due to her lack of “academic” ability.

When are we going to wake up and smell the roses?

This girl is a beautiful rose… surrounded by a thousand thorns. She is conscious. She is awake. She sees the truth. More importantly, she speaks the truth. She has been designed to facilitate the creation of Conscious Community, not to memorise irrelevant information for regurgitation on pointless test papers. She – along with thousands of children just like her – is the key to a happier and more harmonious world for us all.

Like me, this girl is under pressure from those around her to stop speaking her truth so openly and courageously. The message from her (unconscious) environment is that popularity (as defined by the number of friends who “like” her) determines her self-worth.

I feel blessed and honoured to have witnessed the smile that lit up her face when this socially conditioned belief (i.e. popularity equates to self-worth) finally lost its hold over her and she came to the realisation that there was nothing “wrong” with her after all. She now KNOWS that she is a unique and magnificent source of light in an otherwise dark and confused world.

I will continue to champion these conscious children until my dying day. We could all learn a thing or two by acknowledging their example and following their lead.

VIDEO: Introducing Kids Create

Embrace your uniqueness

Until you choose to shine the light of your conscious awareness upon your unconscious conditioning, you remain asleep; self-incarcerated in the prison cell of your own mind.

It takes courage to break out of the box of conformity. It means living in the unknown and risking the judgement of others. However, it is the only way to experience authentic happiness.

We are all unique. Life is an opportunity to be and express our uniqueness to the best of our ability. In our uniqueness lies our beauty, our strength and our message to the world. In our uniqueness lies our passion, our calling and our purpose. In our uniqueness lies our freedom and our salvation.

Parents, worrying about your kids is counterproductive

MOTHER: As an adult I have a responsibility to protect my child from harm. If my son develops an addiction to video games, don’t I have a responsibility as the parent to stop this?

DAVID: Many parents operate from the premise that children – especially young children – cannot be trusted to figure things out for themselves. By virtue of them being adults, they believe they know what is best for the child and it is thus their ‘responsibility’ to point out the error of their ways. From my perspective, it is very clear that the child is free to make his own choices on any given subject and that parental interference is unnecessary. The parent who chooses to ‘worry’ about the unwanted behaviour observed in a child energises and reinforces the problem (which exists only in the mind of the parent) through the power of her attention – in which case the “problem” amplifies. In all my years of experience as a teacher and life coach I have yet to meet a single child who had (seemingly) ‘gone astray’ who wasn’t fighting against some perceived threat to his ability to make his own choices (i.e. who wasn’t reacting to the interference of a fearful adult).

The only reason a child would develop an “addiction” to video games is because he has forgotten who he is; because he is out of alignment with his natural state of happiness and well-being. He is attempting to fill a perceived void by pursuing a dead end. But the behaviour itself is not the issue. The issue is his lack of alignment. The child wants to feel better. If you think about it, the only reason for doing anything in life is because we believe that in the doing of it we will feel better. A child who consistently feels good about himself (i.e. who is aligned with the love, approval and joy that resides at the core of his being) is not going to develop an addiction to gaming… or to alcohol or to sex or to any other form of escapism because these are all examples of instant gratification: transitory (and thus illusory) happiness.

How does the parent worrying about the child’s interest in video games in any way contribute to the child returning to his natural state of happiness and well-being? Many adults have decided that it is their responsibility to worry about their children. I do not see this as the function of parents. The only reason a parent could be observing her child’s lack of alignment is because she herself is out of alignment. Since it is not possible to change another person (regardless of their age), the greatest gift the parent can offer the child is to demonstrate through the clarity of her own example her willingness to strive for alignment with her own authentic self. In so doing the parent inspires the child to seek his own alignment. If the child is aligned, he feels good. If he feels good, he does not look to video games to fill a void… because there is no void to fill.

Q&A re future of education (2)

QUESTIONER: David, how do the children learn basic skills like phonics, writing, reading, grammar, counting, etc with the Eduspire Paradigm? My understanding is they learn from natural environments, which is so wonderful, but these other skills need to be practised through drill in order to learn, at least in the beginning. Until we become a telepathic society again, these skills will still be needed here, so how do they learn them?

DAVID: Could it be that the very idea of “drill” was drilled into us courtesy of our own schooling? Practice by drill was a requirement of the Industrial Age. The Industrial Age has come and gone. The Information Age has come and gone. We are now in the Innovation Age. And yet we still cling to Industrial Age principles. We are running Education 1.0 software in a Society 3.0 operating system.

I observe that a baby learns to walk and talk – the two most complex learning processes that any human being undergoes – without formal instruction. Babies don’t attend walking and talking classes led by walking and talking experts – in which they practise walking and talking by drill. Of course, the child receives role modelling and encouragement from his/her parent(s), but the desire to master these complex skills comes from within the child. There is an innate curiosity, an intrinsic motivation to replicate the behaviour of grown ups. What if we were to allow learning to continue unfolding in an equally natural manner throughout childhood? I recommend checking out the work of psychology professor Peter Gray. In his wonderful book “Free to Learn”, he talks about how children in indigenous tribes learn and how everything we do in school is diametrically opposed to what comes naturally to human beings. There is no formal teaching in these indigenous communities. Children learn “the basics” through observation and play.

I would also encourage you to read about the experiences of students at Sudbury Valley School in Massachusetts. (Peter Gray’s own children attended). This is an excellent example of a natural learning environment in which students (aged 4-19) mix freely and initiate all of their own learning. The school opened in 1968 and has inspired the creation of a further 60 Sudbury schools around the world. In its 48-year history, SVS has not encountered a single child with dyslexia. How is that possible? Because they don’t “teach” kids to read. The kids teach themselves – in their own way, at their own pace, WHEN THEY ARE READY and sufficiently interested. This is the biggest issue with conventional school: it forces children to do things they would otherwise CHOOSE to do if given the freedom to do so.

When children are in an environment that affords them authentic freedom to pursue their own interests and passions, they pick up the basics naturally. Consider, for instance, a child given the freedom to follow her passion for cooking. Weighing and measuring ingredients. Reading recipe books. Researching food of different cultures. Planning a trip to the supermarket. Comparing prices and brands. Creating and recording new recipes. Planning the menu for a party with a group of friends. Organising and running a cake stall at the community fete. She will naturally pick up all manner of skills – not because she has been ‘told’ to, but because she either perceives the need to, or because a desire is born out of her own curiosity/interest.

All of this comes down to TRUST. Most adults have a hard time trusting their kids because they don’t trust themselves. We were taught, as children, that we could not be trusted. And so we pass this distrust on to our own children. I am here to break this self-perpetuating cycle of distrust by reminding humanity that children CAN be trusted. How do I know this? Because I trust MYSELF – unconditionally. I know who I am. Human beings are not fundamentally inert. Every child is born innately curious. Every child possesses a natural drive to learn and to master life on this physical plane. This innate curiosity and creativity is crushed by the tyranny of adult theories. These learning theories are based on institutional wisdom, not nature. As writer and filmmaker, Carol Black, writes in her recent blog post (A Thousand Rivers), “Collecting data on human learning based on children’s behaviour in school is like collecting data on killer whales based on their behaviour at Sea World”.

As for phonics, governments around the world have invested billions in brainwashing schools into believing that this is THE way to “teach” reading. This is the source of the entirely fictitious condition dyslexia. Dyslexia is a visual learning preference. Simple as that. Kids with dyslexia have profound imaginations. They are born with a stronger connection to the right hemisphere of the brain (the visual, creative, image-inative part). They are evolved beings. Phonics is an auditory teaching approach. For visual learners, this approach goes – quite literally – in one ear and out the other. And then we hand them a learning disorder label. As a confidence and self-esteem coach for kids, I spend most of my time un-doing all the harm caused by the “phonics” scam and assuring these kids that they gifted, not disordered.

I could say much more, but, ultimately, it comes down to trust. Our willingness to trust children to be responsible for their own learning is always determined by the extent to which we trust ourselves. Many thanks for your question and interest.

Q&A re future of education (1)

QUESTIONER: David, are you planning to include the Fibonacci sequence in your curriculum?

DAVID: Thank you for your question. The Eduspire Paradigm is not an education ‘system’. There is no prescribed curriculum. Any kind of adult-imposed curriculum is old paradigm. The purpose of Eduspire is to empower children. They are the teachers now. The curriculum is within each child. The curriculum is unique to each child. The next generation of leaders will not be adults; they will be children. They will not need to be explicitly taught the Fibonacci experience; they will know it intuitively because of their strong connection to Nature. Immersing kids in Nature is a hugely important aspect of the Eduspire Paradigm, hence Presupposition #8: Nature is our greatest teacher.

My role is to facilitate the unlocking of the creative genius inherent in each child. My role is to remove all adult interference by holding space. Again, the key to the lock is within each child. This is not something that can be programmed from the outside. Eduspire is an “inside-out” approach to learning and education. And so I am looking to connect with conscious adults who trust themselves enough to trust children to lead the way; to provide safe spaces at a local community level (e.g. coffee shops, libraries, community centres, parks) in which children can connect, collaborate, create and innovate. Humanity has lost its way. The children are here to lead us back into the light.

A message from Eddy Zhong (teenage entrepreneur)

YES!

And this is the exact purpose of my KIDS CREATE initiative: to provide supportive spaces in local communities in which children can connect, collaborate, create and innovate.

“There are not enough [adults] who are telling kids to explore more possibilities, to become entrepreneurs. And if there’s one message that I want parents, kids, and all of you to take away from what I’ve said here today, it’s that you can open your own doors, that you can stray away from this conventional, limited and narrow path that education sets us upon. You can diverge and create your own future. You can start your own companies and start your own non-profits. You can create, you can innovate…… No one has ever changed the world by doing what the world has told them to do.”
~Eddy Zhong (entrepreneur, aged 17)

A child’s inspirational plea to change our ways

Very little has changed in the 24 years since this brave young girl delivered her inspiring speech. We are still destroying the rain forests. We are still poisoning the oceans. We are still killing endangered species. We are still exploiting the poor.

Adults have demonstrated that they are totally incapable of changing their ways. It is time, now, for the children to take the lead. And I am here to facilitate this transferal of power.

Introducing the Sudbury model of education

[Live streamed on the L4G.tv Education Channel on Wednesday 24 August 2016]

A wonderful and insightful conversation with Bruce Smith (member of staff at Clearview Sudbury School in Austin, Texas) about the Sudbury model of education, a radical alternative to conventional schooling.

The Sudbury model originated in Sudbury, Massachusetts (www.sudval.org) in 1968 and has inspired the creation of Sudbury schools throughout the United States and elsewhere in the world, including Belgium, Denmark, France, Germany, Israel, Netherlands, Spain and Japan.

This is an inspiring example of what is possible when children are immersed in a natural learning environment in which they are free to be themselves.

« Older entries